Whether it’s over Social Media or in live interactions, there are certain kinds of people that love to shame others – for no apparent reason.
You hear them debating political opinions, mocking religious beliefs, ethnicity and even your eating habbits. Women face this pressure more than others as
society dictates how we dress, who we interact with, whether we work or stay at home.
New mamas get told that breast is simply the best. Yet, the same people will shake their heads when they watch moms breastfeed in public.
Among all this, a new age of shaming has become popular – womb shaming. In the last decade or so, society has become supercritical about family planning. They have unanimously decided that we must:
However, big families with three or more children are a big no-no.
Do you see the irony of it all?
“No uterus, no opinion.”
I wish I could say this about womb shaming.
Unfortunately, women often partake in this unnecessary bullying, fully aware of the trials and tribulations of going through challenging pregnancies, family budgeting, and the pressure of procreation.
Like the other day, a friendly old neighbor was ooing and aahing over my toddler. She asked how old my child was and, after finding out he was two, gave me a knowing look and said, “Almost time for another one, don’t you think?”
She pointed out that my husband and I were not getting any younger. We needed more kids to ensure that someone took care of us when we got older.
As if children were nothing more than a retirement policy.
Yet, I gave her a sweet smile and vowed never to take that route to the park.
It wasn’t the first time I heard this comment.
My rainbow baby is the most precious thing in the world, and I find it intrusive and odd when peopledrop hints that he should have a sibling. Or if they think I should give pregnancy another try like it was a ride at the funfair.
No, thank you.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t judge big families. I have three siblings, and I love them.
After a few miscarriages and a traumatic pregnancy, I made the conscious and well-informed decision to only have one child. I am blissfully happy and extremely certain that I am not mentally, physically, or emotionally ready to give it ‘another try.’
Even if I hadn’t encountered difficulties during my pregnancy, I understand the benefits of raising a one-kid household.
It means giving my child unconditional love and attention at all times. Like being there to witness their milestones instead of managing overlapping schedules when their sibling has another activity planned.
It’s easy on my pocket too. I won’t have to spend an obscene amount of money over multiple presents, save up thousands to send two (or more) kids to college, and cash in on my savings to ensure all kids have a proper wedding. Plus, who needs another round of weaning and potty training?
However, this is only a teaser of what womb shaming looks like.
Friends with more children tell me that they receive snide remarks about how they should “use protection.” Childless mothers experience reverse shaming with friends, family members, and distant acquaintances for not producing an offspring. These women are referred to fertility clinics, specialists and given ancient remedies to “make moms, grandmothers” or “complete their purpose of life.”
In short, no matter what your family looks like, people will always have an opinion. Nobody, besides you and your partner, should decide your family dynamics or pressure you into following self-imposed,norms. Whether you have one kid, five, or none, the only thing that matters is that your family are healthy and happy.
So today, let’s promise to stop womb shaming and let every woman live her life the best way she can.